Alexander
(A.K.A. "Ravencrow")

In order to fully understand this journal, it may help to know the character a little bit. Here is some necessary back-story (additional information on his character role can be sought in the "Antediluvian" main page):

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Alexander, who also goes by the alias of "Ravencrow", came from a fairly dysfunctional family. Though he lived a fairly wealthy life in the far south, he was also isolated from the outside world until he was ten-years-old. His beloved mother was murdered, and to make it worse her killer was never found. On top of that, his father, who had been the source of much abuse when he was a child, committed suicide shortly after throwing Alexander down a flight of stairs.

With his skull fractured, he had to get it protected with a metal plate. It's over his forehead. A patch of fake hair, a lighter tone than his natural, copper hair color, covers that plate over his head where he would've been bald.

His father had abandoned him, his brothers were the only people he could turn to. However, by then Alexander had lost much trust in them.

So he ran away without knowing of his father's suicide until months later, until his brother, Dominick, called him up.

He refused to attend the funeral.

By that time Alexander had caught himself in a line of bad habits as well as a bad crowd of people. This was influenced by a man he met named Jerusalem Kavar. Kavar is an Ophelian--a citizen of Ophelia City--who are feared by most civilians but a relied-on pillar for the black market. Alexander became his apprentice in a way, and for the next ten years Kavar raised Alexander. During this time he goes by the name of Ravencrow, not only so that it'd be more difficult for his brothers to track him but to hide his own past as well.

In his adolescence, "Ravencrow" got himself caught in a mess. He attended riots and raves, used drugs and drank alcohol in abundance, and developed a wanton nature. He wasn't the most attractive man, but he knew how to woo a woman, or so he'd like to believe.

One day, he got caught in an extremely violent riot against the city. He had been driving that morning, when he suddenly found himself being thrown out of his car and beaten repeatedly by an angry crowd for no apparent reason. This beating went on for nearly a half hour, until Kavar showed up, stepping in and carried him off to get his severe wounds treated. After that, Ravencrow became ashamed of himself as well as his scarred body. Part of his left ribcage had been exposed in the outcome of the riot's violence, and now he has another metal plate protecting that as well. Since then, he wore clothes that concealed his ugly body, and hadn't showed much interest in sex.

Despite all of this, Ravencrow continued to secretly attend schooling. While Kavar raised him in his home life, Ravencrow raised himself with a proper education, using the money he would make on his black market deals with Kavar. He became an avid reader as well. His favorite writers were Henry D. Thoreau, William Faulkner, Ralph Waldo Emerson, and Archibald MacLeish.

Then he met a woman named Reene.

He was twenty-years-old then, young and a sophomore in college. Almost instantly he formed a lust for his classmate, signing up for the same classes as she. She had showed him kindness and gentleness that is rarely ever seen in the world he grew up in. From that day forward, he willingly fell in love with her.

Eventually, she returned his affections. But she hid a secret that would've changed many things had she even known what it was.

Ravencrow abandoned most of his previous life so he could be committed to Reene and Reene alone. Upon realizing this, her feelings for Ravencrow turn into something darker, something more obscure, but it isn't revealed until after her murder.

Alexander Ravencrow nearly died with her that same day, and on many occasions he wished he did die. But something he couldn't explain happened, and he is still alive. For how long, he doesn't know, though he had plenty of run-ins with death to know that he is not as enduring as he used to think.

Now, everything that happened after those terrible memories and before the now are just blurs and fragments. He tries to remember, while at the same time subconsciously denying his very own one truth.